This house used to be a duplex. It wasn’t built that way, and it’s not that way now, but there’s a patch of siding at the back of the house that’s the shape of a door. When I moved in, I had to pay the local utility company on two bills, because the electricity was being billed to my street address, and the water was billed to my street address, Fl 1. It was a huge pain in the rear, because the utility company just shrugged and said “Oh, you’re the landlord over both those units.” And set me up as a master account holder over them as if the floors of my house were rentals. (IT’s weird they saw that one that doesn’t get water, and one that doesn’t get electricity and just shrugged it off, but whatever.) I had to call the city to have them send a letter to the utility company to tell them that my house was a single family residence. They didn’t do anything, but I called a few months later to ask if they ever got the letter. They said they had, and about 9 more months after that, they started sending me a single bill. Mercifully. The utility company doesn’t bill on the same day each month. I don’t know what math they use, but it seems to shift. Maybe they bill every 4 weeks instead of every month, but as a landlord of the single family home that I solely inhabited, they enrolled me in paperless billing and didn’t send ‘the landlord’ any billing notifications, so paying the bill on time was contingent upon not just checking the site in accordance with the calendar I keep, but also randomly checking it, too, as the billing date moved around. Do you have any idea how hard that is for someone with ADHD?

Anyway - all that is to say this house is totally whack. The furnace is about 3x the size needed for the square footage, so the air coming out of the vents is like 20 degrees hotter than it should be, and the blower struggles to push the appropriate volume of air through the old, hodgepodge, and (in at least one case) improvised ductwork. Instead of cycling and like, circulating air properly, it just blasts the area around the vents with hot air, and leaves cold spots cold. The plus side is that our HVAC guy says he expects the heat exchanger to burn itself up any time now, and when that happens, I guess I’ll spend the money I’m saving up for a down payment on a new house to deal with it. Or take out a HELOC and hope that when the market turns we don’t lose that much equity. Then we’ll get a nice heat pump or something - you know, for the next person who lives here, because this house’s problems are many.
But for right now we’re just running the thing with the cheapest, crappiest air filters we can find so there isn’t much air impedance, and changing them often. Sometimes I feel like living here is like living on the Serenity.

My realtor really did me dirty with this one. I mean, I still bought in 2019 before the market went insane, but like, it was my first house, and I really needed him to do better.
Next time I house hunt, I have a plan. I already have topographic maps of the whole city saved on my computer to ensure I’m not buying a house at a low spot (water issues). The state government provides maps of noise and environmental pollution, so I won’t be dealing with train tracks I thought I wouldn’t hear, or a metal plating company 3/4 of a mile away that makes the neighborhood smell like hot metal sometimes. I also now have thermal imaging gear, boroscopes, all manner of outlet testing gear, and a ruthless determination to not have to worry about a house that clearly wants to fall down. I’m going to be an unholy terror of a traveling home inspection for any house we’re looking at next.