Yes, this. This particular comment best summarises how I feel about the topic.

Agreeing with your summary of his actions and calling him cringey are not mutually exclusive

Good god, I am so tired of hearing about this cringey edge lord.

You already know this, but I’ll reiterate it in case it helps you get over whatever guilt you might be feeling about it: you can’t. If you have already offered them a non-judgemental space to vent and have expressed that you’re there for them, then you have already done more than any friend should be expected to.

You say “it doesn’t rest in [your] hands alone”; it doesn’t rest in your hands at all! Your desire to save your friend is very admirable but it also sounds like it could be self-sabotaging to some extent.

“Rehab doesn’t work” is a blanket and not entirely true statement. There are a million different pathways to recovery; not every programme works for every person. Maybe try to explain this to them.

Beyond that, the best thing you can do for them right now is to disengage and remain distant. You don’t deserve to have their pains inflicted on you too.

P.S. I am speaking as a recovering addict. One of the things my recovery has taught me is how much of a burden being an addict is to other people. The thought of a relapse hurting my friends disturbs me. Your friend might resent you for turning them away, but when they do start recovery, they will not only understand why; they’ll appreciate it too.

That is how I confirmed that every single one of them was, yeah! It’s also possible to check by just going to reddit.com/user/UsernameHere in an incognito window (or any browser that isn’t logged in). If shadowbanned, the page shows “This account has been suspended.”

Hard agree.

Reddit has been shadow banning every single account I touch; it’s incredible. I burned through 3 accounts in the past month and got fed up, just haven’t bothered since. I seem to be incapable of not getting shadow banned lol, when at least 30% of the activity on that site is bots arguing amongst themselves and reposts of content that did well. I even tried setting a “snoo” (yuck) and a bio on my last account, but it made no difference.

Not OP, but there are at least 2 things going on here:

The first part is that the Jewish person is effectively treating this like an inside joke, where someone might not find it funny unless they were present in the situation that the joke references.

The second part to the ‘God not being there’ bit (which is what actually makes it funny imho) is basically saying that the holocaust was so horrible that God was clearly someplace else/asleep/absent to allow something like that to happen under his watch.

Accidentally?

My gf and I are poly. She has a gf. It doesn’t bother me at all. You should talk to your husband; his resentment isn’t necessary. It sounds like everyone (your daughter, her bf, his gf) are all aware of the situation and consenting. What’s the issue?

I am autistic, and honestly OP, I feel very similar. But based on the comments, I’m starting to think that we’re both narcissists haha

I have this particular issue with a house mate who is self-obsessed and wants to do nothing but brag about his charisma and intelligence to anyone who dares come downstairs for a split second. He’ll go on for hours, and re-tell everything if someone else comes in. He kind of caricature-ises this whole experience for me. He has trapped me in a convo for so long that I’ve had evening plans ruined, even after telling him multiple times that I’ve got to go. No point pretending with him, you literally have to just ignore his existence and leave. Grim.

With friends and family? It depends.

For friends, I care if they’re very close (1 of a handful of people), not because of the topic itself. What I’m really listening out for is how they have been affected by the experience.

For more distant friends, acquaintances, colleagues… generally no.

Fuck the I”D”F

If I’m completely honest, after reading both your account and theirs, I don’t really understand why you’re this hung up about it.

It’s almost like you care more about credit than a port that actually works. I know you weren’t done/that it was a WIP, and they told you to wait, but at the end of the day it’s open software, and literally anyone could have beaten you to it.

I don’t think you’re wrong to feel that your efforts should have been represented more, but I honestly would have backed off like 10% through that conversation and just started working on something else. It’s not worth it man. I hope you can feel better about this whole situation soon.