103% of statistics are made up on the spot.

Y’know, it’s dangerous out there. Maybe you should just start mag dumping through the front door whenever the doorbell rings or a robin farts.

Let em both get eaten by Brontorocs.

“Oh Lawd, they’d didn’t bring a sacrifice chile.”

Maybe my 20yo mini dachshund is planning on producing a flux capacitor, but I’ll believe that before i believe your fantasy.

He said he was gonna cut the federal budget by ~30%, or roughly two trillion dollars. I saw an economist say that if you fired Every. Single. Govt. Employee it still wouldn’t save two trillion dollars. It’s just absolutely insane.

Sharpen up the 'tines, me hearties. The time is nigh.

I pay attention.

Hey, good for you! My dog likes to watch tennis. Could say he PAYS ATTENTION. I wouldn’t say he understands wtf is going on, but attention is being paid…

To quote Al Swearengen: “I like that fucking darjeeling black. Oops.”

Yes.

My favorite passage: “…”

The 1812 Overture to braille

None. After the vivisection that was the GTA remaster, stay the fuck away from older games. Please and thank you.

No, you see, BIG STRONG PATRIOTIC MEN wear diapers and whine like it’s way past naptime when they’re told “no.”

Their excuses are always just so cute. I’ve met 6yo’s that are better bullshitters. By this reasoning, STOP signs are litter and should be removed. Could make the same argument about billboards, which i would actually agree with.

These the same cops that mag dump because of an acorn? The same cops that “OD” if fentanyl is in the same hemisphere as themselves? The cops that lost a rifle while “raiding” an “illegal” “grow op”? Those cops?

(X)

Girl, just drop your eggs in the current, and I’ll disperse my spermatozoa all over 'em!

Trump wins: 1st American Purge!!!

Harris wins: Take back the stolen election!1!

The magats have been gearing up for violence for a year or so, now. There IS going to be violence. Seriously SERIOUSLY wanna be wrong on this one.

All of your problems are just one and the same: statistical probability of civilian casualties.

“All of your problems boil down to the fact it’s indiscriminate. Get over it. The problems end when you do.”

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Didn’t forget they’re not allowed to rape POW’s. And that’s a perfectly fine reason to riot.