take your woodchipper, chip up guard A. point to guard b, then the woodchipper: ja or da. point to guard c, do the same. then tell them you are coming back with the woodchipper if you don’t like what you find through the door, and ask them to point to which door you should go through. pointing doesn’t require words.

edit: wait I know, don’t ask questions, just open doors, throw the guards through and see what happens. whoever survives, take that door

we all vote as a family and laugh about what our net vote is. been like this for decades. the olds only voted for trump once, which is a relief.

Well, you can use the books as a form of random number generator. Maybe this can work for the blind in a much, much more compact form than a braille book (which, if you’ve never seen are fucking huge)? I don’t know. I’m sure whoever buys it has some reason they want it.

I liked the magic system a lot more than XV (where I felt like I could never use it). That’s the one thing I remember from it.

Unless they’re walking, in which case it’s Travodes.

edit: aw fuck I should read the entire thread shouldn’t i

I’m about as big a poth-ead as you can get, and this is pretty fucked up.

you should always know and consent to what you’re putting in your body

if there is, they are congregating on different sites than I frequent and I thank them for that,

you smell different, but you still smell unique.

source: attended the gilroy garlic festival annually for 15 years

I’ve had too many cold nights in winter where you wake up in the middle of the night, pinch a quick loaf, and then scurry off to bed. Now, with warm water, it’s nice and cozy and next minute you’re like a fuzzy numble all snuggled up in a big cozy cinnamon bun back in bed still asleep. Cold water, well, there’s these nights it’s winter and the dead of night and suddenly your pucker screams ¡Ooo! ¿what temperature is that? well it’s gonna take an hour to get back to sleep now.

I do not miss those winters

you know I was prepared to argue the point but I realized, the articles I enjoy and save are the satirical ones. there are a lot that are just plain parody that I just skim over. But they had to call themselves parody in the best legal brief ever written, dammit.

yeah sorry my FIL poured canola oil in his car ignition because his key got stuck once and was coming over to do it to mine. Like, not even WD40, which I would have expected from his generation as the all purpose lubricant. I tried to introduce him to graphite powder, but it didn’t take.

I forget y’all exist sometimes.

great [tasting] food, great [sized] country, yes. fucking bastard of a language english is.

I have tried the standard of (If an area’s regional food is tasty, the people are probably pretty good folk) fairly extensively and found few exceptions. Only been tried for witchcraft and run out of town once.

Onion isn’t parody, it’s satire

As a longbow user, that armor isn’t going to be much good

there’s a lot of good food it’s why we’re so fat

how long you got?

first I hear about y’all’s beautiful gyro pizza and now this? I need to emigrate.

You can get teardrops with solar panels, but I haven’t looked into electric RVs.

it takes 15 minutes, $20 for all the parts, a t splitter, a wrench and teflon tape to install a bum hose if you’re that hard up