I got fed up with this shit and left. That should prove I’m human.

It’s worth trying, even if you think you’ll end up cancelling anyhow. The last time I had to deal with them, they dropped my monthly bill from $150 to $80 for their highest speed broadband, and now I get roughly 1gb download speed for $80/mo. (eta in case it’s not clear: that wasn’t based on hypothetical sale prices; I’d been paying $150/mo out of pocket for half the speed; I now pay $80/mo for double the speed I had been getting.)

Your results will probably vary – I have 25 years of uninterrupted customer loyalty to leverage. (eta: not like I have a choice where I live, it’s them or dial-up, but their international agents don’t know that lol).

🤞

e: also if you follow this blueprint, let us know if it works. I didn’t come up with this pattern, but it did work for me.

There’s kind of a cheat code.

First, always call, don’t bother with chat. The first prompt you get, say ‘agent’. Don’t say anything else, and keep saying that until you get a live person (it should only take 1-3 times in the menu.

Once you have a person, threaten to cancel your service. You have to mean it (I always mean it if I’ve got to this point). They will escalate you to the customer retention team and they will listen.

e: oh, and also be nice, but firm. Angry tirades never work, but exasperated friendliness does.

Neat. I cancelled Hulu a few months ago, and this doesn’t make me regret my decision. I like some Disney content, but they’re corporate vultures and, based on their practices, they don’t deserve any loyalty.

And Comcast, of course, can fuck themselves to death. I wish this wasn’t an amicable takeover and Comcast would lose badly, but that’s just my murderous mouse fanfic.

Lol. What a dumbass.

That 99% lived in Canada and went to a different school. They were supermodels. You didn’t know them.

Or ‘Never wrestle with a pig because you’ll both get dirty and the pig likes it.’ – George Bernard Shaw

Flat earth. Crystals. Cupping.

Anything to avoid the reality that we’re fucking up society and the planet in favour of ‘we can fix it with woo’ or ‘it’s preordained that we’re all gonna die in god’s wrath-fire’. Neither will lift a finger to fix things.

Nobody wants to live in reality because it’s scary.