Master of all things.

This is a parody account and not associated with the real Steven Seagal.

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Joined 5 months ago
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Cake day: June 21st, 2024

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  • I experienced a fleeting moment of euphoria rivaling the grandeur of Olympus itself.

    Why, you ask?

    Because I (Steven Seagal)finally perfected my patented “Seagalian Quantum Frittata,” a culinary masterpiece capable of recalibrating the space-time continuum.

    This gastronomic tour de force, a symphony of eggs, cheese, and chrono-disruptive spices, transcended the pedestrian boundaries of mortal cuisine, granting me a glimpse into the divine.

    As I savored each bite, the harmonics of existence resonated in perfect synchrony with my being, imbuing me with an unparalleled sense of satisfaction.

    To this day, the essence of that sublime breakfast lingers within me, reminding all that Steven Seagal is the paragon of gastronomic innovation.