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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: October 4th, 2023

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  • I think others have covered the economies of scale and niche products creating the disparity.

    But I wanted to suggest that if your grandpa is regularly eating gluten free bread, we have found that making it at home is SO much more affordable than buying a loaf at the store. (Even though gluten free flour is also more expensive.) Most of the gluten free flours have their own sandwich bread recipe, either on the bag or their website. I don’t know what flours you have access to, but they can be wildly different blends, so using their tested recipes is always best.

    We’ve mastered our favorite so it takes only 15 minutes of “work” and then just time in the oven. It’s also much better than store bought! I don’t know if that’s possible for you, but it could be a lovely weekly ritual for you and your grandpa.

    Also, to anyone suggesting we just eat rice and beans, I’m an old celiac. We went without bread, pasta, cake, pastries, cookies, brownies, pizza, and crackers before these products came to market. These are mostly “fun” foods that I don’t eat regularly, but usually pop up in social situations. Do you know how many sad birthdays with no cake we’ve had? How often we’ve watched our friends and family eat things we could never have? I am so grateful to the “fad” gluten free people who made it possible to have culturally/socially important foods we were missing out on for decades!!



  • Our 15 year old has a new habit of coming into the kitchen every time we do, and stretching out directly in the middle of the walkway so he is in the way at all times. We have a pretty decent sized space, but he’s a very long cat when he wants to be. I feel like he defies the laws of physics because I don’t understand how he’s in the way literally everywhere. It makes me crazy.

    So when we cook, which is usually 2-3 times a day, it’s like, need to open the oven? Cat. Need to get into the fridge? Cat! Sink? Cat. Oh, I need to dry my hands? Cat. We have definitely stepped on him by accident since he started doing this, but he’s still undeterred. He has bad arthritis, so I don’t mind when he sits in front of the oven when it’s on, because at least that one makes sense. (He has multiple heated beds too; don’t feel bad for him.) But it’s like, I would love to be able to grab water from the kitchen or feed the dog or do literally anything in there without almost stepping on my cat.




  • I always find that starting any new job is exhausting! There is so much to learn - not even the “work” itself, but processes, personalities, and systems that differ from workplace to workplace. Unless you are struggling hard financially, give yourself some time. For me, it takes at least 4-6 months in a new job to feel ready to add something else. (Now that I own my own business, it’s just adding the next thing in the business…then 4-6 months later, the next thing…). You will have to feel out your own balance and where you can draw the line. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to make more money, if that’s a goal. But you can’t do it at the expense of your sanity, relationships, health, etc. Make it sustainable.

    I’m in the US for context, but have lived all over the world, and don’t participate in the hustle culture here. I work hard for my clients and there are crunch times, but on average it’s about 30-35 hours a week. That’s a sweet spot for me! I hope you find yours.



  • I don’t know about the notes, but I wanted to say that it takes time and effort to unlearn this idea that we are supposed to be productive all the time. This is a lie that many powerful people want us to internalize so we work ourselves to death, and it’s very insidious and omnipresent. It’s become a perverse “value” in our society at large and something to be proud of.

    But you are not a machine. You’re a person. And that means you need and deserve rest and comfort.

    You have inherent worth outside of your productivity, how hard you work, or how much money you make.

    Those metrics don’t tell us anything about how you are as a person, your values, your kindness, your strengths, the joy you bring others.

    ALL of that stuff has value. Real true value. You have to start challenging these beliefs about your worthiness. Because you are already worthy.

    Some further reading/resources:

    1. The Body Is Not An Apology
    2. Rest is Resistance
    3. Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle






  • Sometimes keeping a symptom journal or diary can help your medical providers piece things together. They are only seeing you once for 10-30 minutes, but you’re living in your body and experiencing symptoms way more frequently. Don’t log obsessively, but maybe once a day review your pain (rated 1-5) and write down any noteworthy symptoms or episodes. And as someone else mentioned, get good at condensing your medical “story” to date, including your current symptoms.

    Doctors will always go for the simplest explanation, even if it’s wrong. This is how they are trained (in the west, anyway). So don’t give up! Continue insisting on a proper diagnosis. Get another opinion. See a different specialist. If you find it difficult to advocate for yourself, imagine if this was your friend. How many mountains would move to get the same answers for a dear friend? And apply that logic and compassion to yourself. Have a bestie come with you to appointments if they are willing to.

    A big part of the “suck” in this process is the not knowing. Will you be in pain forever? Will you get better? Will you get worse? Is it really a mystery illness? Will you ever get a diagnosis? With chronic pain you’ll find yourself exhausted often with the effort required to ignore the pain. So feel the pain sometimes. Lean into it. You may find it’s a relief to feel it instead of trying to block it out.

    It’s maybe also worth accepting that these issues may never totally resolve. If they do, great. But what if they don’t? How can you live a happy and fulfilling life (which millions of people do with chronic pain/disability) even if it stays the same?

    Lastly, I want to say that you have a separate problem, which is the lack of social support you are getting from your family. They are gaslighting you about your illness - of course you know your body best and are experiencing what you say you are. You are young and may depend on them financially, so that’s a needle you have to thread. But I’d encourage you to spend more time with friends who love and believe you.

    If you have access, it’s worth working with a therapist on all of this. From what you’ve described, you have been left all alone to grapple with a disability that no one can even explain. That is an awful lot for someone to hold by themselves. Whatever happens with your illness, I hope you are able to get the love and support you deserve - which may never be offered by your family.


  • I’m a small business owner, and I notice a lot of online entrepreneur-ish businesspeople recommending that everyone start a podcast for marketing purposes. The idea is that you get people to listen, then you get them onto your email list, then you can sell to them. It’s a low cost (but high effort) marketing funnel for people starting out.

    The result is that now, every idiot who wants to “coach” people online, or sell an online class, has a miserable podcast. I’m sure the raw podcast #s reflect a lot of 8-episode abandoned shows because Becky couldn’t sell her online hair styling course and quit.