Baby Shoggoth [she/her]

  • 3 Posts
  • 51 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 10th, 2023

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  • oh i didn’t think to look in the communities list, sorry. my mod queue is empty currently, how does the app show you there’s an unhandled report? I’d kind of expect them to show up in inbox tab, but it seems i have to go through the posts tab -> community list -> mod zone dance to get to them? is there a notification count on the posts tab too for reports to hint to me that there’s something there?

    Also it might be nice to mention mod tools in the app description because most lemmy apps are still lacking them.




  • Did you miss the words “dark pattern”? it is a term for when companies misuse/abuse UX principles to trick people into acting against their own best interests. In this case, the bold “click me” looking button in the screenshots means “yes daddy, spank me and then sell my data to your friends”, which is the option that most people who see that box won’t want to click.

    Unfortunately, a large swath of the general population are trained in their brains to “click ok to make it go away”. These UX decisions take advantage of those people.

    Assumedly, the grayed out box will also not dismiss the banner, but instead lead to a more complicated experience where you then are forced to drill down into complicated options to decide which of the cookies to set, which will be confusing if you didn’t open the link at top in a new tab to cross reference which of the 27 data brokers “Technology Partners” to decide which.

    It’s not UX, it’s abusive UI and the very definition of malicious compliance to EU regulations.









  • You just apply anyway.

    Usually they’re not willing to pay anywhere close to doctorate money for doctorates anyway, and will end up settling no matter who they pick.

    I’m not sure if i’ve ever known any engineer who has met the listed job requirements for their role. They say requirements, but what they mean is “this is my ideal”. Put another way: think of it like a dating app profile. dude may act like he only dates 10s in his profile, but you show him some attention and suddenly you’re just as good as a 10, because he’s lonely and needs affection from someone.

    Basically, for most companies, they’re essentially the corporate version of incels. Way too high of standards, but will settle for anyone who is into them regardless of what they think their standards are, because they just need someone ASAP, and their standards disappear quickly once you make yourself available.

    I’ve enjoyed a 20+ year long career as a programmer, and I dropped out of college 3 months in because i couldn’t afford it. That’s because early in my career i took a few shitty jobs until i had a decent enough resume that i didn’t have to take shitty jobs anymore. That took study and practice and passion in programming, but i did that for fun years before i even showed up on the university doorstep.





  • I agree. Take more pictures of yourself out having fun. especially if that fun involves both men and women (assuming you’re a straight man looking for a woman). Show potential partners things you want to do with them, not things you want to do with your bros to get away from them.

    Take more pictures of yourself. Have your bro friends take pictures of you while you’re out. Tell them you want them to because it’ll help your dating site profile.

    If you don’t have pictures of yourself, you probably won’t have many pictures of either me or us if we were together. Take more pictures. Get friends to take pictures of you. Get pictures of yourself having fun, not just showing off whatever fish you just caught.

    You didn’t take that fish pic because you wanted a picture of yourself. You took it because you wanted a picture of the fish. You’re only in the damn pic yourself to prove it was you who caught the fish, there would be no picture of you if there was no fish.


  • No, not shitting on men. Shitting on people who put a picture of them fishing in their profile, and otherwise don’t care to list any other hobbies in their profile or show them in their pics.

    Also, those fishing pics are always (i can’t prove always, but i’ve never seen a counter-example) just them and their dude friends, fishing to get away from their partners and complain about them. I don’t care what your “guys time” is, you deserve time away from me with your friends, just like i deserve time away from you with my friends.

    That’s healthy. However, and again i am speaking from my own experiences here, i’ve never gotten a swipe on a dating app from someone who had a fishing pic, where any of the following is true:

    1. there are any women there, whether friends or partners of your friends, or anything else
    2. they have a picture of them participating in any other hobby
    3. they have any other pictures of themselves that aren’t a selfie

    If fishing is your hobby, that’s okay. But it shouldn’t be your only hobby. Also, if that hobby doesn’t generally include your partner, you’re not showing off to me what we might do together, you’re showing off to me what you would do to get away from me.


  • I think you’re misunderstanding the point of the whole meme, and by extension, what i have been saying. It may be more common for country dwellers, but it’s also incredibly common for city dwellers.

    There is also never a woman in any of these pics. It’s usually a dude with a bunch of other dudes. I understand that it might be your hobby, and there’s nothing wrong with that being your hobby.

    But if it’s a hobby you only share with other dudes and not your partners, and it’s the only hobby on your dating profile, and it’s the most common “only hobby i have pictures of myself doing” for men on dating sites, then at least one of the following isnt probably true:

    1. you’re not differentiating yourself from any other dude in my inbox
    2. you’re showing off to me that, even if you do have other hobbies, you’re probably not going to take pictures of me/us doing them, and i’m not even sure if you have any hobbies that i would be into, if i am not into fishing
    3. you don’t think any other hobbies are important enough for a partner to care about, except fishing
    4. you don’t take a lot of pictures of yourself having fun in general. the only reason that fish pic was taken is because you were proud of it in a way that your other masculine friends could take a picture of you without making fun of you

    again, i’m speaking from experience on dating apps, and from anecdotes from other women i know. It is incredibly common (i would guess, as a city girl, who only matches with other people in my city, and not surrounding rural areas, at least 20-40%) for a picture of you fishing with your guy friends to be the only picture of you doing anything you enjoy.

    Even if that’s your primary hobby, there’s dozens of other dudes in my inbox for whom that is their only hobby that they care enough to take pictures of.

    Otherwise you’re just showing me 3-4 face (and/or, for some reason, shirtless) pics and a pic of you fishing with your bros. It’s not appealing, and it’s far from unique. You’ve also not shown me anything we can do together, and your profile mentions nothing else either.

    And no, i’m not looking for a man to take me to four star restaurants or whatever else you think i’m after. I make good enough money to cover my needs and hobbies and treat both myself and my partner with nice stuff and experiences. I want someone who is going to spend time with me, with whom i share hobbies, interests, and ideals.