• Pyrin@kbin.melroy.org
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    3 days ago

    Any dumb and vaguely open-ended advice. Like “just be yourself”.

    What if you’re improving yourself because the real you sucked? Do you just give that all up and return to what you were? Whoever first said that piece of advice, obviously didn’t think it through enough.

    • pixelscript@lemm.ee
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      2 days ago

      “Just be yourself” always feels like non-advice when it appears as an answer to a question like, “What should I do?” That’s because it’s secretly negative advice. As in, it doesn’t tell you what you should do, it only tells you what you shouldn’t do. It’s code for, “Don’t pretend to be something you aren’t”. Don’t pretend, don’t lie, don’t put on a facade you can’t keep up.

      Technically good advice, yes. But it’s the equivalent of being behind the controls of a plane you don’t know how to fly and the pilot is incapacitated, and your question of “How the hell do I fly this thing?” being met with, “Well, for starters, don’t jerk the stick and flip the plane over.” Wowee gee, thanks for the tip.

    • Alexstarfire@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      It’s not “don’t ever change.” It’s just saying don’t pretend to be something that you aren’t. You most likely can’t keep that going forever and that’s one reason why many people feel like their SO changes after being together for a while.

    • Battle Masker@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      is myself

      gets bullied for being self

      attempts suicide from excessive bullying

      think I did something wrong back then

    • Usernameblankface@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 days ago

      It can be a great compliment when someone knows you well enough to see that you’re overthinking things. Too many times it’s just thrown around without thinking it through and that ruins it for everyone

    • Ananääs@sopuli.xyz
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      2 days ago

      Yeah thanks * adult * for the advice, why don’t you try AuDHD and see what you think of it - or rather what others think of you when you just * be yourself *

    • yetiftw@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      just because you were that person doesn’t mean you are now. the advice still holds